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- Beany Brain #35: Blighty Ho
Beany Brain #35: Blighty Ho
Abigail Munday
April 02, 2025
Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!
Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.
Table of Contents
Reading Ho
I wrote last week about flow vs. hyperfocus and I mentioned that reading is a hyperfocus time for me. My husband and sons call my name and I don’t hear anything; I’m actually in Book World. My dad reads Beany Brain and he told me that his biggest hyperfocus is when he’s writing Chinese characters—it takes a lot of concentration.
Even during our trip from Japan to the UK yesterday (or was it two days ago?), I could drown out the loud hum of the planes with my paperback.
I still adore books made out of actual trees.
Our Kindle is so handy because we live overseas and I can’t just walk into a charity shop or used bookstore and find English books. (In fact, Japan doesn’t even have charity shops as far as I can see. They have a chain store called 2nd Street where the items are used, but it’s for-profit.)
I love our Kindle cover: a colorful tree.
I appreciate that we can access books on Kindle that we might not otherwise get.
And yet…
Paper books and I get along so well.
They love me and I love them back; it’s what you call a symbiotic relationship.
Anyhoo, I could wax poetic (why not wane poetic or lemon-oil poetic?) about books for-ev-er.
I have a list for you that I’ve seen popping up all over the place, and I thought it might be handy if any of you are on a tighter budget like we are or if you just don’t fancy spending your dineros on di-novels or di-nonfiction.
Here are 20 websites where you can download books for free:
Project Gutenberg .com
Open Library .org
Google Books .com
ManyBooks .net
PDF Drive .com
Bookboon .com
Free-Ebooks .net
Smashwords .com
DigiLibraries .com
GetFreeEbooks .com
Obooko .com
Baen Free Library .com
Internet Archive .org
HathiTrust .org
Standard Ebooks .org
ReadPrint .com
And may all your hyperfoci flourish.
Perfecting Being Unsuccessful
Jet lag gives one plenty of time in the middle of the night to review one’s life and mistakes and regrets.
And by “one” I mean moi.
Unfortunately, autism and perfectionism (aka beating oneself up for not meeting impossible self-set standards) go together like bread and butter. (Side note: My paternal grandmother used to say “bread and butter” if she and I were walking together and got separated by a pole or something.)
This Thrive Autism Coaching article says:
Perfectionism is a common trait among people with autism. There are several possible reasons for this.
First, people with autism often have a strong need for order and control. They may feel that they need to do things perfectly in order to avoid chaos and uncertainty, which leads to anxiety.
A second reason for this may be the tendency toward black-and-white thinking that is often associated with autism. Many individuals on the spectrum see things in terms of right and wrong, good and bad, and they may have difficulty tolerating ambiguity or uncertainty. This can lead to a desire for rigid rules and routines, and an intolerance for mistakes or deviations from the norm.
Another reason may be the social challenges that often come with autism. Individuals on the spectrum may feel pressure to conform to social norms and expectations. This many lead to feeling like they need to be perfect in order to fit in or be accepted. This can be especially true in school or workplace settings, where the pressure to perform can be high.
Now, I’ve realized that I can’t kick myself for being a perfectionist.
It just is the way it is.
Do I have a strong need for order and control? Check.
Does my thinking tend toward the black-and-white variety? Check.
Do social situations cause me big anxiety? Check.
The article mentions some positives connected with perfectionism:
Increased focus and attention to detail.
High standards of work.
Diligence and perseverance.
And downsides:
Stress and anxiety.
Procrastination.
Social isolation.
Burnout.
One of the suggestions in the article for dealing with the trickiness of perfectionism is finding joy in imperfection.
WHOA. What?
Can one do that?
And again, by “one” I mean moi.
All of my jet-lagged brain activity related to perfectionism and middle-of-the-bum-crack-of-night research led me to start thinking about the what ifs.
What if I could be nicer to moi?
What if I could talk to myself in a kinder way?
What if I could enjoy my lack of perfection?
What if what ifs are OK?
Just as I’m researching and thinking along these lines, my in-laws put a book in my hand that they just finished in their church homegroup and told me I have to read: How To Be Unsuccessful: An Unlikely Guide To Human Flourishing by Pete Portal.
Here’s my favorite line in the book so far:
This is not ‘self-help’, it is ‘Jesus, help’!
That’s my prayer lately. Just those two words.
As I listen to the church bellringers practicing a mile away on this fine still Tuesday night in a small British town, it reminds me that many of my brothers and sisters around the world are praying the same thing.
(Caveat: I do not need help because of the bellringers. They’re doing a beautiful job.)
Blessed are the bellringers, for they shall share loveliness even from a mile away.
Blessed are the neurodivergent, for they shall see things differently.
Blessed are the imperfect, for they shall live creatively.
Blessed are the humans, for they shall need God.
Yeehawesome!
Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?
We and our luggage arrived in the UK intact and are now enjoying the literal fruits of my in-laws’ labor: Every year when Seville oranges are in season my mother-in-law and father-in-law together make homemade orange marmalade, which really rocks our world. It’s the best marmalade I’ve ever had. Tastebuds singing. Check. Toast happy. Check.
I discovered a young naturalist’s work and words. Dara MacAnulty is autistic and wrote his first book as a teenager (he’s now 21). Here’s a description from his website of his first book: “Diary of a Young Naturalist is a powerful and scintillating portrayal of the beauty of the natural world, as it shines a light on autism and of overcoming severe anxiety. It is a story of the binding love of family and home, and how we can help each other through the most difficult of times.” It’s now on my want-to-read list for sure.
The wētāpunga is New Zealand’s largest insect, and its shyest. They’re only on a few small islands now, and their large rat-poo-sized droppings fertilize the forest floor. Check out this article about these fantastic insects, whose name means “god of ugly things.”
Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness
Wonderful Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.
Today’s Beany-full Summary:
I shared a list of free book resources.
Autism and perfectionism frequently occur together. But maybe it’s OK to realize I’m not perfect and even if perfectionism is part of who I am, I can be imperfect in the perfectionism.
Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?
Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.
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