Beany Brain #45: "Just" Relax

Author

Abigail Munday
June 11, 2025

Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

Photo by Abigail Munday

“Just” Relax

We’ve had a couple newsletters in the last 44 editions that just involved laughter.

Now it’s time to (possibly, maybe) relax.

“Just” relax.

Don’t you hate when people tell you that all you need to do is relax?

Like, people, if my brain could just switch itself into relax mode it would.

I’m not telling you to relax.

Or even to just relax.

The NHS Dorset Neurodiversity Hub says this about neurodivergencies plus anxiety:

Neurodevelopmental conditions such as autism and ADHD are not mental health conditions. But just like everyone, neurodivergent people can sometimes face mental health difficulties and struggle with their emotional wellbeing.

Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world can lead to challenges that may increase the risk of stress, anxiety or depression, and research indicates that neurodivergent people are more likely to experience mental health issues than neurotypical people.

So yeah, it can be tough sometimes, hey. But you are not alone. I am not alone.

Let’s do this thing. Together!

As a peace offering, today I share some ways and ideas and videos that I have found helpful to slow myself down, and I hope you will find them supportive too. Peace.

Take what you need; leave what you don’t.

Let’s start with breathing.

4-7-8 is the breathing bomb! Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4. Use your diaphragm to breathe, not your chest! Hold it in for a count of 7. Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat if necessary.

Speaking of music: If you like, try the Monks of Senegal (Benedictine monks who blend Western-style Christian chants with West African kora music—a lute-harp) and Celtic Psalms by Kiran Young Wimberly and the McGrath Family in Ireland.

(This New Yorker article about the Monks of Senegal, called The Monks Who Took the Kora To Church, is fabulous.)

I’m currently working on a “Hygge in My Head” playlist on Spotify, so I’ll share it with you when it’s moderately well-stocked. (I love making and naming playlists.)

Here’s another idea that seems cliche, but journal. Sometimes seeing my own words flow out onto a miniscule sliver of a tree slice really helps sort out my stormy, jumpy brain.

And then if it’s in the middle of the night and my thoughts are loud, I envision myself curled up in God’s womb. You might like to try that too. There’s plenty of room in that womb.

Have you ever heard of relaxing your muscles from head to toe, one section of your body at a time? It’s even got a name: PMR (progressive muscle relaxation). What you do is basically tense up certain muscles and then release them, working your way through your body.

I sort of did this today in church, but just with my face.

Just sitting there during the service, I realized that I was masking hard. Most of the time I don’t even know that I’m doing it, but I tend to fix my face to fit the situation. And that’s tiring.

So this morning during the service I deliberately focused on my face and deliberately relaxed it. It felt great.

If you want to do the full PMR, here’s how:

The key with this technique is to tense each muscle group and hold for 5 seconds. Then, you exhale as you let your muscles fully relax for 10 to 20 seconds before you move on to the next muscle group.

How to do it

Start by lying or sitting down. Relax your entire body. Take five deep, slow breaths.

Lift your toes upward. Hold, then let go. Pull your toes downward. Hold, then let go.

Next, tense your calf muscles, then let go.

Move your knees toward each other. Hold, then let go.

Squeeze your thigh muscles. Hold, then let go.

Clench your hands. Pause, then let go.

Tense your arms. Hold, then let go.

Squeeze your buttocks. Pause, then let go.

Contract your abdominal muscles. Pause, then let go.

Inhale and tighten your chest. Hold, then exhale and let go.

Raise your shoulders to your ears. Pause, then let go.

Purse your lips together. Hold, then release.

Open your mouth wide. Hold, then let go.

Close your eyes tightly. Pause, then release.

Lift your eyebrows. Hold, then release.

Sounds good to me!

Also, get your exercise/yoga mat out and strehhhhhhhtch!

Listen to a podcast that you love.

Text or call a friend.

Read something good! My current-events self wants to keep up with the news, but sometimes I just need something soothing or fun to calm the ol’ nervous nervous system.

Illustration by Chris Riddell

So, to recap, here are my suggestions for a peaceful moment or two, a reprieve from the loud noggin-noises if you like.

  1. 4-7-8 breathing.

  2. Felgild Compline.

  3. Monks of Senegal.

  4. Celtic Psalms.

  5. Journal.

  6. Imagine you’re in God’s womb, safe and secure.

  7. PMR (progressive muscle relaxation).

  8. Stretching.

  9. Listen to a podcast.

  10. Text or call a friend.

  11. Read something good.

Let me know what you try and what works for you.

Though the list is piecemeal, may it bring you a peacemeal of brain-calming feasting for a moment or two.

Hugs from my beany brain to yours.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

  1. Elle Cordova’s Fonts Hanging Out and her space poem. Far out!

  2. Have you ever heard of the Big Issue? It’s a magazine in the UK (and other countries now too) that folks who have fallen on hard times can buy for £2 each and sell for £4 to help them make ends meet. It’s a whole community of folks who look out for each other, and when they’re at the place where they sell them (there’s one young woman who sells them here in Marlow a few days a week), folks in those communities can purchase the magazines and befriend the sellers. Here’s the story of Budgee, one man who sells the Big Issue in Brighton. He’s also autistic and ADHD.

  3. Have I Got News for You! This is a TV show in the UK, game-show style, which is all current events and comedy. It’s hilarious! It’s the one show all 6 of us here in the house watch together. It’s Friday night and it’s about to start now, so I’d better go!

Beany Brownie Points and Extra-Bonus Funniness

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo (or two) from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Photo by Abigail Munday

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

  • I shared a number of ways to help myself (and you, if you need it) feel calmer.

  • Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

If you’re enjoying Beany Brain, please share with a friend or seventeen at www.beanybrain.com. Cheers big time!