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  • Beany Brain #49: No Contact; What a Pain

Beany Brain #49: No Contact; What a Pain

Author

Abigail Munday
July 09, 2025

Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

Photo by Abigail Munday

No Contact

One of the things I love about living in Japan is that direct eye contact is discouraged and considered aggressive! I didn’t realize that this was something helpful for me until my diagnoses and subsequent deep-dive research into neurodivergent traits. Then I saw the light.

But not others’ eyes.

I stare so hard at people’s mouths when they’re talking that a person I was chatting with the other day actually put his hand over his teeth—I guess I made him feel self-conscious. I’m sorry, mister! (This probably also has to do with auditory processing disorder, but that’s another newsletter for another time.)

source unknown

Yes, I’m uncomfortable with eye contact. (Especially eye on eye. Oof.)

Facebook shows me memories, and the following photo of a photo was from 3 years ago at my parents’ house when I was going through some old things, including this high-school graduation photo. Check out where I was looking! (Hint: not at the dude’s eyes.)

But apparently I will make eye contact with cute little animules (photo from 7 years ago at a hedgehog cafe in Kanazawa that no longer exists).

For a significant percentage of autistic people, eye contact isn’t just difficult — it’s downright uncomfortable. In fact, one of the diagnostic criteria for autism is challenges with nonverbal communication like maintaining eye contact.

One reason why autistic folks may experience challenges with nonverbal communication skills is because of underlying changes in certain areas of the brain.

In one major study from 2022, researchers found differences in the brain activity of autistic people and neurotypical people during periods of eye contact.

According to the study results, the dorsal parietal region of the brain was less active during eye contact in autistic folks than in neurotypical folks. In addition, changes in this area of the brain were associated with social performance in autistic participants.

Honestly, I don’t dig that phrase “social performance.” I know what they’re getting at though: We’re different.

I mean, whose ideas of social norms are we comparing our ND (neurodivergent) eye contactlessness with?

And sadly, neurotypical people in the West tend to think that folks who don’t make eye contact are shifty or untrustworthy.

May that stereotype and cultural norm change and become more graceful and inclusive.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you here with a request:

Please, no eyeball contact. I can’t stand that.

Photo by Abigail Munday

What a Pain

Pain reception (also called nociception) is subjective. Everyone feels pain differently, which is why medical providers sometimes ask you about your pain on a scale, such as the following:

Specialists Hospital Shreveport

Neurodivergent people are more than twice as likely as the general population to have hypermobile joints and are far more likely to experience pain on a regular basis, according to new research.

Led by Brighton and Sussex Medical School (BSMS) and funded by the MRC, MQ Mental Health Research and Versus Arthritis, the research found that more than 50% of participants with a diagnosis of Autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or tic disorder (Tourette syndrome) demonstrated elevated levels of hypermobility, compared with just 20% of participants from the general population.

Hypermobility (also called double jointedness or loose joints) is directly linked to pain, balance issues, and tiredness.

There are helpful supports like physical therapy, including water exercises.

But hypermobility pain isn’t my main point here—it might just be part of the whole package. Actually, pain is felt differently by neurodivergent people and neurotypical people.

For many years, the stereotype of autistic people was that they felt less pain than their neurotypical counterparts. Not true! They may have stayed silent about their pain for various reasons, whether for fear of punishment, fear of being misunderstood, challenges in expressing their experiences, anxiety in clinical settings, interoception issues, etc.

AutismCRC says:

Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition characterised by social and communicative impairments and the presence of restricted, stereotyped behaviours. In the assessment of pain, these communicative difficulties and sensory differences make it difficult for the evaluation of pain. Traditionally, autistic individuals were thought to have a hyposensitivity to pain but recent evidence demonstrates a different expression of pain. Taken together, an altered expression of pain and a history of healthcare inattentiveness to pain has led to poor health outcomes, later presentations of disease and under-management pain.

Two researchers in Australia have done a review of how to better assess pain in autistic patients. Check out their checklist here.

Overall, the researchers say their findings suggest that individuals with ASD have a “pro-nociceptive” pain modulation profile, meaning that their brains appear more active in facilitating the experience of pain and less active in inhibiting continuous pain. This profile, they say, may increase these individuals’ risk of developing chronic pain. They also note that their findings are consistent with the theory that ASD involves an imbalance between excitation and inhibition in the brain.

The researchers conclude, “This evidence demonstrating enhanced pain sensitivity warrants changing the common belief that autistic individuals experience less pain. This misinterpretation can lead to late diagnosis and poor treatment causing suffering and exacerbating the autistic symptoms, e.g., sleep disorders, restlessness, and aggressive behaviors.”

Basically:

  1. Neurodivergent people experience more pain due to hypermobility issues or undiagnosed problems.

  2. Neurodivergent people experience pain differently than neurotypical people and are sometimes unable to express their experiences of pain to clinicians or are misunderstood.

So, hang in there, fellow NDs. You are not alone. And I’m encouraged by the ongoing research and more awareness of these challenges.

And you know what? I think whoever came up with the aphorism “no pain no gain” probably wasn’t experiencing pain at the time.

I like this better:

No pain no marmalade.

Photo by Abigail Munday

(Just practicing my very minimal French there, folks. Get it? Pain? Someone dear to me told me recently that his breakfast toast is just a vehicle for the marmalade.)

Anyway, the marmalade the boys made recently with their UK grandparents is most definitely high on the rejoyvenation scale. And that’s the kind of scale I like.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

  1. We got to go to London a couple weeks ago, and as I had about 2 hours to meself, one of my stops was Stanfords travel bookshop in Covent Garden. And lo and behold, just a few days later I read the novel Miss Garnet’s Angel (by Salley Vickers), mostly set in Venice (1990s), but before Miss Garnet set off on her trip, she went to Stanfords! Déjà book!

  2. Church quiz night! We didn’t win but we had a yeehawesome amount of fun. It was run like a pub quiz, and there were 8 of us at our table. With 9 rounds and 3.5 hours, it could’ve seemed interminable, but actually, we had a blast! If you can find a quiz to participate in, get thee hence immediately.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

  • Eye contact is a difficult thing for some NDs (neurodivergent people). It’s part of our genetic wiring.

  • Neurodivergent people have a higher incidence of hypermobility and therefore bodily pain, and also NDs experience pain differently than neurotypical people.

  • Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

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