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- Beany Brain #77: Curiosity Builds Life and...Dopamine Dressing
Beany Brain #77: Curiosity Builds Life and...Dopamine Dressing
Abigail Munday
January 20, 2026
Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!
Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.
Table of Contents
Photo by Abigail Munday
Curiosity Builds Life
When the news gets heavier and heavier, when you feel it in your body and soul…
Tod Maffin: Your Emotional Support Canadian learned this in a residential alcohol addiction medical facility twenty years ago and suggests:
When you feel your chest getting tight because of stress, observe yourself. Not judging. Just observing.
Imagine you’re looking at yourself from a foot away.
Think: Isn’t that interesting?
Interrogate your response to the stimuli.
You stop being the anger, and you start noticing it. You turn it into data instead of fuel.
Curiosity slows things down and gives you options.
Susan Stiffelman, a marriage and family therapist, sent out an email the other day about big reactions in parenting, but it goes along with what Tod was saying too:
If you'd like to start observing challenging parenting patterns with more curiosity, here are a few ways to begin:
Pause for a moment when a reaction feels big and silently name it as a part of you that carries a positive intention.
Notice what that part is trying to protect you from—fear, shame, or loss of control—and acknowledge it.
Take a breath or two before responding; even a brief pause can help your nervous system settle.
Approach your child with curiosity rather than judgment, knowing your reactions reveal more about what’s happening inside you than about them.
Be patient with yourself; noticing and understanding your parts is a process.
I’m going to try being more curious about my own reactions and see how that goes.
Just like I did a double-take at those sweet yellow carrots (above) when I saw them in the JA (Japan Agriculture) co-op produce market, I want to practice a curiosity pause.
Let’s see how it goes. I’ll (try to remember to) get back to you about my findings.
I know you’re curious.
Curiosity might’ve killed the cat, but I think it will actually help us humans.
Ha Ha Haiku
A funny haiku for you every week in every newsletter, whether it’s one of my own or one I curate for you. HA. Ha. Haiku.
(not quite a haiku, but cute)
Photo by Abigail Munday
Dopamine Dressing
(Not salad dressing! Though I do love salad so much.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grocery grandpa: “I always know it’s you!”
Me: “Because I’m a foreigner?”
Grandpa: “Nope! Because of your style!”
Most folks wear masks in the store here in Japan, and I do, too, so if I dressed like everyone else, it might not be immediately noticeable that I’m a gaijin. (Maybe?)
But this grandpa knows me.
He’s a frequent shopper at our local grocery store, and Grandpa always seeks me out for a chat when I’m there too. He lives alone, has recently been hospitalized, and isn’t well off. He has frayed clothing around the edges, and I think his heart is kind of frayed too. So I always stop when I see him and we have a chinwag.
He isn’t wrong about my clothes. I stand out here.
After decades of Project Masking, several years ago I stopped trying to dress to please others. Up till then I’d always tried to dress like everyone else as much as possible.
But no more.
Now I need COLOR and cute (my own idea of cute). And comfort and safety. Especially in dark winters.
The norms for women’s clothing in Japan are beige, black, white, gray. Maybe a very pale pink in spring as a nod to the sakura blossoms.
People ask me why I wear such colorful clothes, and I tell them that it helps me mentally.
It really does.
Dopamine dressing literally boosts your dopamine levels.
Considering dopamine dressing for neurodivergent folks, Gentle Nook says:
Here's what I want you to know: your brain isn't broken for needing clothes that feel like safety instead of style magazines. You're not "too picky" for wanting fabric that doesn't fight you. And you're definitely not failing at being human for choosing comfort over what others think you should wear.
This is about dopamine dressing for neurodivergent souls. It's the art of wearing what makes your brain light up instead of shut down. It's permission to dress for your actual nervous system, not the one you think you should have.
And this:
Dopamine dressing gets talked about like it's just wearing bright colors to boost your mood—and yes, that can be part of it. But for neurodivergent people, it goes deeper. It's about understanding that your brain's relationship with clothing is fundamentally different.
When your sensory processing works differently, clothes aren't just aesthetic choices—they're environmental factors that can make or break your day. The wrong texture can hijack your attention for hours. A tag in the wrong place can make you feel like you're wearing a constant reminder that something is wrong. But the right outfit? The right fabric that moves with you instead of against you? That's not just comfort—that's freedom.
Freedom!
Yell that in your best Mel Gibson voice.
You can paint your face blue, or not, depending on your sensory processing and dopamine needs today.
Yeehawesome!
Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?
I’m over 500 days on Duolingo. That’s pretty yeehawesome!
Mattel has created an autism Barbie, with a fidget toy, noise-cancelling headphones, and a communication tablet.
Quote of the Week
We push back against despair when we repeat, quietly and stubbornly, ‘There are things I can do. There are things I can do. There are things I can do.’
- Kate Bowler, historian and professor
Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness
source unknown
Wonderful Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.
Photo and embellishments by Abigail Munday
Today’s Beany-full Summary:
Pause and be curious about your feelings. Notice your reactions to stimuli.
Dopamine dressing can help ND folks feel much better throughout each day.
Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?
Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.
If you’re enjoying Beany Brain, please share with a friend or seventeen at www.beanybrain.com. Cheers big time!