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Beany Brain #94: How To Help Autistic People? Just Be Nice! + 4-7-8 Breathing

Author

Abigail Munday
May 20, 2026

Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

Photo by Abigail Munday

So You Want To Help Autistic People?

You might’ve heard this a few times—and probably a few times from me:

You’ve met one autistic person? You’ve met one autistic person.

We’re all different, with different support needs, different levels of masking (hello, extremely high masking here!), and different presentations of ourselves when we’re out and about.

Keith Stuart, a writer and a person with an autistic son, writes in The Guardian about how others see his son and treat his son in public. It’s not always polite or helpful.

In fact, some folks can just be mean.

His son loves the beach, though, and the relaxed atmosphere there. When Keith asked him how people could make life easier for him as an autistic person, he just said, “The beach.”

Keith Stuart writes:

I genuinely think the world would be a better place if we behaved in every public space how we do on the beach. Obviously, I am not advocating swimwear in the office - that would be really awkward - I just mean that sense of benevolent calm that the beach fosters would be a healthy way to live.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all remember not to stare?

Not to be judgmental?

If we could all remind ourselves that we’re all just doing the best we can, even parents of children who get overstimulated easily? Even the folks who are the overstimulated ones?

Here’s another Keith Stuart quote:

I asked if there was anything he [his son] wanted to get across, if there was a simple message he would add. He thought for a second and just said: “Be nice.” That’s really it, I think: amid the intensity of modern life; amid the bustle of city streets and crowded shops; amid the sheer intensity of existence in the 21st century, it is incredibly worthwhile to notice other people, to see people who may be struggling and to make an effort to help, or even just make a space where they can help themselves. I just feel that empathy is a skill we all have to spend time learning. A better world for people on the autistic spectrum is a better world for us all.

I honestly don’t feel the need to elaborate on that.

The End.

Ha Ha Haiku

A funny haiku for you every week in every newsletter, whether it’s one of my own or one I curate for you. HA. Ha. Haiku.

Full English breakfast

Too lovely for a haiku

Get in my belly

(Abigail Munday)

Photo by Abigail Munday

4-7-8 Breathing

I don’t need to be longwinded (see what I did there?) about this topic…

If you have autism, a comorbidity might be anxiety.

And the 4-7-8 breathing technique can help.

It calms me down a lot:

  • If I wake in the night with panicky thoughts.

  • When I start catastrophizing.

  • If I have a heavy-chest feeling.

Try it:

Breathe in for a count of 4.

Hold for a count of 7.

Breathe out for 8.

Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

  1. Dopamine hits act as a reward for baby zebra finches’ singing and a study that shows their brains while singing.

  2. The Daily Tism snark website (may not always be suitable for children).

  3. Clementine almond olive-oil cake from an Italian cafe called Cedar in Marlow. Oh my gosh. (Photo above.)

Quote of the Week

We need to stop using ‘sensitive’ as an insult or criticism if we want sensitivity to be valued and recognized for what it is: a quality that is essential to a healthy, compassionate human society.

Rachel Samson, clinical psychologist

Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.

Photo by Abigail Munday (in Japan)

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

  • How to help autistic people? Just be nice.

  • The 4-7-8 breathing technique can help with anxiety, which might be a comorbidity with autism for some folks.

  • Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

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