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Beany Brain Newsletter #23: Little Shop of Hormonal Horrors
Abigail Munday
January 07, 2025
Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!
Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.
Table of Contents
Photo by Abigail Munday
Hormones Are All the Rage
Because I’m a woman, this section will be related to women’s hormonal issues in connection with neurodivergencies, but I’m guessing that neurodivergent men also experience more severe hormonal changes and fluctuations too.
Who wants to talk about hormones?!? Raise your hand! (Me! Me!)
We knew someone who refused to talk about his wife’s period with her, period, so as we’ve been raising our sons, I’ve normalized these kinds of conversations. So I hope that even if you’re a bloke, you’ll keep reading.
Still here? Good!
I asked three female friends who are neurodivergent about their hormonal experiences and if they feel that they’ve had more extreme hormonal issues than neurotypical women that they know.
Anonymous friend #1 said that she didn’t have bad periods and that her menopause came and went quietly.
Anonymous friends #2 and #3 said:
Oh definitely. When puberty started, I was so emotional and I felt like every feeling I had was maxed out. At 13, I was so depressed my parents had me talk to a therapist. I couldn’t just be sad or happy, I was irrationally crying, or manically overjoyed. And I came to resent myself because I knew I was too emotionally intelligent to be behaving that way, but I would get so caught up in the moment I couldn’t think about the consequences.
Being neurodivergent has DEFINITELY complicated hormone changes. I still remember middle school band camp where I noticed that my legs were hairy like the male instructor while all the other girls had smooth legs. I was very embarrassed. My PDA self HATED and RESISTED the demands of menstruating the entirety of my menstruating life. My struggle with interoception, a common struggle for neurodivergent individuals, definitely made both menstruating and perimenopause harder. It also takes me a long time to recognize the patterns within my own body and tracking cycles was a demand which my PDA resisted intensely, so doctors’ visits were harder. I could never answer, “When was your last cycle?” Then I also struggled to get doctors to listen to my worries when I told them, “I don’t know what is normal for perimenopause/menopause, so when I notice changes, I don’t know if they are benign or concerning?” The menopause process has been incredibly painful, because I didn’t know what to expect. I think also that navigating the hormonal changes in my kids have been more difficult because of my neurodivergence. I tried to ask other parents for advice and to find books to help, but other parents were dismissive and the books I tried did not explain well. I would love books designed for the neurodivergent community on puberty, menstruation, and perimenopause/menopause.
Sounds like we could do with some more resources on this. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
In the meantime, I found a scientific article called “A hypothesis to explain the potential influence of hormones on the severity of autism spectrum conditions in women” in Science Direct. I am not a health professional and so I can’t access the whole PDF (and I don’t want to pay US$36), but the beginning part of the article was helpful enough.
The abstract was a little bit Greeky to me. The gist:
It is hypothesized that differences in the severity of ASCs [autism spectrum conditions] during the lifespan of women on the autism spectrum can be due to metabolic and hormonal influences.
Perhaps our hormones are a bit wonky.
I thought so.
I experience so.
The above article goes on to say that:
A recent study highlighted that during menopause, ASCs [autism spectrum conditions] often worsen dramatically, which leads to women experiencing extreme meltdowns, depression, anxiety, suicidal feelings, and difficulties in masking their struggles [2]. Furthermore, women on the autism spectrum seem to have a heightened rate of physical health challenges compared with women without autism and men in the autism spectrum [16].
Personally, perimenopause is a bear, and honestly, reading more stories from neurodivergent women in autism groups and learning the above information explains it better and helps me understand myself a bit more.
I’m not alone.
In addition, the article says that masking/camouflaging requires energy. I can deduce that as energy levels fall during big hormonal changes (hello, my friend perimenopause) masking is harder to do.
No wonder I’m not as worried as I used to be about what people think about me.
I’m more myself, while also fighting against hormonal imbalances to be more myself.
Yeah, it’s exhausting to be neurodivergent.
The National Autistic Society says:
Exhaustion (fatigue) and then burnout can happen to anybody. Being autistic can make fatigue and burnout more likely, due to the pressures of social situations and sensory overload.
Dr. Megan Anna Neff puts it a slightly different way:
Autistic and ADHD burnout occurs when our internal resources are exhausted beyond measure. It happens more often to individuals who mask their neurodivergence and do not have adequate support, accommodations, or breaks to manage their stress and sensory inputs.
Here are some of her ideas to get out of the exhaustion cycle:
Autistic people and ADHDers can benefit from recognizing our patterns and limits, learning to pace ourselves, and implementing strategies to prevent burnout. This may include taking breaks, practicing sensory regulation techniques, setting realistic expectations, and seeking social support.
Back to our hormones.
They fluctuate.
They exhausticate.
They also liberate.
Here’s to more of the good -ates.
Like hey, I just ate some peanut butter and chocolate.
Chocolate is definitely one of the best -ates.
It might not solve all our ills, but I anticipate that it could be a good start.
A haiku I wrote and photo I took in 2016
Important Stuff
ADHD is a bee-yotch in my bonnet.
If it’s important it will resurface.
That’s what I tell myself when something flies away out of my mind or out of my purse or out of the car or out of the house entryway or out of a file.
Lemme tell you a little story about a time I had to eat humble pie as a high school teacher. This was back before I knew I was ADHD, and I always berated myself for being disorganized. (I still do, but I’m getting better at the ol’ organizational skillz and better at giving myself grace. Though of course there is still some distance to go in both.)
So.
A student who shall remain unnamed (because honestly I can’t remember his name, but I do remember his face) missed a day of school, a day that we had a vocabulary test.
Apparently he made up the test when he got back.
But I didn’t remember that he had and I had no hard evidence.
I made him take it yet again.
Poor kid.
His dad was very angry.
He was very angry.
And then I found the first makeup test.
The kid got a 98% on both, so that’s good.
I called the dad and thankfully he didn’t pick up. I left a message saying I was sorry and that I had found the first test and he did great on both first and second makeup tests.
If it’s important it will resurface.
But that doesn’t mean everything will be totally hunky-dory.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get out of eating that distasteful humble pie.
If humble pie were a flavor, what do you think it would be? I suppose it depends on the person.
On that note, please take this survey and let us know what you think humble pie tastes like! Next week I’ll put the responses in Beany Brain. Stay tuned, folks!
If it’s important it will resurface. The thing, the memory, the grace.
Yeehawesome!
Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?
In an autism Facebook group, I asked for recommendations for a story podcast and someone told me about “Midnight Burger.” It’s fun! A time-traveling diner! Start at the beginning otherwise it won’t make sense and then work your way through it. (Caveat: spicy language.)
Last week I hit a 125-day streak in Duolingo for math and Japanese. Go, moi! I’ve always hated math. I studied hard so I did OK, but I never grasped it. So I’m working my way through some practice to cement it a bit better. And reviewing some Japanese too. Duolingo makes it more fun.
I get a kick out of writing to others to thank them for doing good work. This last week I thanked Governor Roy Cooper of North Carolina for commuting the death sentences of 15 folks on death row in that state before he left office. They now have life in prison without parole, but it’s life. As a pro-lifer and whole-lifer, this brings me great satisfaction.
Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness
Amy Hwang for The New Yorker
Wonderful Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.
Photo by Abigail Munday
Today’s Beany-full Summary:
Hormones can play a big part in neurodivergency struggles.
ADHD isn’t always fun and games. But if a thing is important, it will resurface.
Don’t forget to take the humble pie survey!
Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?
Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.
If you’re enjoying Beany Brain, please share with a friend or seventeen at www.beanybrain.com. Cheers big time!