Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

• Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

  • Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope t …

• The 12th W

  • The 3 Ps of Parenting (Language)

    • Yeehawesome!

  • Wonderful Wednesday

  • Today’s Beany-full Summary:

The 12th W

I assure you that I’m not going to keep going on about Ws forever.

Just this week. 🙂 (Maybe this will be the last of it. Perhaps.)

You’ll possibly see a theme here:

• a cuppa

• lap blanket

• two pairs of socks

• layers

• spices

• baths

• fuzzy slippers

• fast walks

• hoodies

• fleece

• soup

Can you guess this W?

WARMTH.

Now, you might be thinking that this is just a seasonal post, and heck yeah, it’s still cold here and I need all the warmth I can get while winter gasps its last.

But my mind is trying to wrap itself around a hygge feeling of comfort. A hygge hug.

And this is a hygge hug for all seasons.

Denmark.dk says this:

“Protected from the outside world.” Yes, please. Sometimes I just need that. A lot of times I need that. You too?

When our brains are wired differently (“differently wired” is a term used by Debbie Reber at Tilt Parenting and the title of a wonderful book that she wrote), sometimes we need a cushion of comfort. Some quiet. Some peace. Some deep breaths.

Here’s a deep breath in a cup that I make a few times a week in the colder months:

Turmeric Lattes:

In a pan on the stove, add your unsweetened milk of choice (I use soy). Heat it up and froth it with a whisk while adding cinnamon, nutmeg, turmeric, honey, black pepper, ginger, and vanilla.

The heat from the hot milk and the spiciness really add to my hygge-ness factor.

I hope that you experience some warmth this week in whatever form you need it.

The 3 Ps of Parenting (Language)

We want to be the best parents for our kids, and when we’re also neurodivergent it makes not just guiding and parenting ourselves more difficult, but also decision-making for and with the younger fry takes on a whole new multilayered dimension.

Which is why I pray every day for wisdom.

And sometimes, when I have a few extra shiny spoons floating around, I listen to podcasts about helping and supporting our offspring. (To be honest, though, sometimes I just have to go to Spotify for some Monks of Senegal for calming or some Vulfpeck for dancing. Funky duck, y’all.)

Lynn Lyons has been a therapist for more than 30 years and she’s also an anxiety expert.

I’m an expert on my own anxiety, but what I mean is she’s an expert in helping other people deal with their anxiety.

Two things Lynn has said in the past have stuck with me:

(Mental note to self and BB readers: This reminds me to do another newsletter with just funnies. We could all use that, right?)

I’ve dipped in and out of her Flusterclux podcast, and this week was a dip-in scenario.

I’m glad I dipped. (No, not that kind of dipping. Bleck.)

The following comes from the Flusterclux February 21, 2025 episode, and these are the 3 Ps of parenting language. The first one is a no-no, and the other two we should use.

1. “Permanent” language:

   Lynn Lyons says we should not use “permanent” language with our kids. She talks about malleability and that what we do matters. Each baby step. There is hope. Depression, anxiety, and feelings of rejection can improve. Your depression and anxiety are not you. It’s not who you are. If we tell kids that something is permanent, they won’t work to change the situation or even think that it’s possible.

2. Positive expectancy: 

   This is the anticipation that things can change. When Lynn Lyons meets her clients for the first time in therapy, she asks them, “Imagine that this therapy is successful. What would you say about it in the future? It worked because…” Positive expectancy is a prediction that things will improve. What we predict makes a difference and it breaks the power of catastrophic thinking. This is not looking for a silver lining, telling someone they should be grateful for their tough situation, or toxic positivity. She says we can heal and this won’t last forever.

3. Placebo:

   This is the one I understood least, to be honest. Lynn Lyons says that making a suggestion that something can get better actually helps. She talks about placebo pills: If you’re given a white pill, there is less expectation that it will help. If you’re given a brightly-colored pill, the expectation rises and the placebo effect works better. The same goes for placebo pills that are perceived to be a higher cost—they work better than ones that are perceived to be cheap. She says using placebo language with our kids should not be deceptive—we should explain to them up front why we’re using this kind of language. It’s recognizing the power of our words with our kids. Suggestions are powerful.

Like I said, the placebo language was the hardest for me to grasp. I’m not sure how I’ll personally use it with myself or my kids. I will definitely work on not using permanent language or passing on any catastrophic thinking (one of my Achilles’ heels). And I need some extra spoons this week to reflect the idea of anticipation and things changing for the better.

I want to try, with God’s help.

Whether we’re parenting ourselves or others (or both simultaneously), we gotta remember the three Ps, hey. A plethora of Ps helps the (placebo?) medicine go down.

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

1. The Butterfly Effect Wellbeing group in Harlow, UK! They remodeled a derelict home and provide support groups, cups of tea, games, and a sense of belonging for folks struggling with their mental health. The article made me cry! It’s got 3 stories of 3 women whose lives have been helped and brightened (literally brightened in one case as one grandma in her new state of peace has dyed her hair really bold colors!). (I’m not saying that being neurodivergent is a mental health issue, but sometimes mental health struggles come along for the ride as a so-called “comorbidity.” Anyway, this place sounds great.

2. Reading. Have I mentioned that I love books? Maybe about 20 times in Beany Brain already. Seriously. I’ve launched my #read25in25 series (from Gretchen Rubin: a challenge to read at least 25 minutes per day in 2025) with my own trademark: SSWB. My Stay Sane with Books regimen. It is helping (a bit).

3. Our slow cooker. Talk about a lifesaver. On Sunday nights when I plan our weekly menu and grocery list, I look at days that have stuff in the afternoon and on those days I plan something for the slow cooker. Et voilà!

Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

• Add warmth and hygge to your life. What would bring you comfort today or even right now?

• Lynn Lyons shared the three Ps of parenting on her Flusterclux podcast: permanent language, positive expectancy, and placebo.

• Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

If you’re enjoying Beany Brain, please share with a friend or seventeen at www.beanybrain.com. Cheers big time!