Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

• Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

  • Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope t …

• Sensitivity Stew

  • Strewing

    • Yeehawesome!

  • Today’s Beany-full Summary:

Sensitivity Stew

Plenty of pharma meds. Some (key) foods. Alcohol. Caffeine. Dehydration. Blood sugar. Waists on clothes. Wearing jewelry after about 5 PM. People talking to me while music is playing.

The list is long.

Blast it. That’s what I want to do. I want to blast my sensitivities to smithereens and just be “normal.”

Except that my therapist tells me that normal is only a setting on a washing machine.

(Ours is still broken. Will go shopping for a new one soon. In the meantime, the laundromat is my friend. I honestly don’t mind it—the ones here in Japan are clean and shiny and efficient and it gives me a few minutes to read my book sometimes, if I don’t need to walk over to the grocery store during that time.)

I want to be able to eat anything and everything.

I want to be able to just go stay in a B&B without getting overwhelmed by the floral scent of their laundry detergent or the washing-up liquid in the kitchen or those dratted plug-in deodorizers that feel like they’re going to blow my head off.

I want to have a glass of wine. Or a G&T.

I want to be able to take ADHD meds or anxiety meds or HRT.

I want to be able to take a painkiller from the ER for my emergency back situation and not almost die. (The head of that ER wrote a letter admitting their incompetence by sending me home with my head lolling and my breathing not right, which is why I ended up right back there and they had to save me. If we were the suing type…)

I want to be able to hang out in a big group of people and not be overwhelmed and unable to focus on anything or anyone.

I want to be able to go to a gathering and not be absolutely wiped out afterward.

I want to have greater pain tolerance.

But that’s not how I roll.

Most neurodivergent folks experience greater sensitivities than neurotypical people. It’s just our normal.

Autism and ADHD both have links with hypersensitivity.

In this list of HSP (high sensitive person) 21 sensitivity traits, I have all 21.

I try to reframe: “Honor your sensitivity,” says this article.

I am who I am, and my sensitivities are not just life-threatening sometimes (hello, opioid pain meds), but…

Gratefulness comes to mind as well. I am Abigail and I don’t just have greater sensitivity to all of the above, but also to spiritual life, dreams, and others around me. I gravitate to those on the margins because that’s how I feel too. I understand.

Instead of blasting it, I am blessing it.

Strewing

Some might call it mess; I call it my mess. I mean my strewing.

Years ago when I was reading up about unschooling (we did not go that route with our boys, by the way), I learned a new term (well, a term I knew but used in a new way for me): strewing.

In the unschooling context, strewing is the act of setting items out “randomly” for your kids to interact with and maybe become interested in to learn new ideas or concepts or history or whatever.

Strewing is setting the scene, like a prop master for a play.

Well, folks, I am the prop master for my own life.

See the photo above? That’s my vitamin bowl, which also contains a smooth new chestnut that I picked up from the street in our neighborhood and a blob of blue tack on the outside for fiddling with. (Don’t worry, I won’t swallow the chestnut by mistake.)

All of this strewing looks normal to me, but when I imagine that I’m someone visiting our house I see mess and I feel shame.

Smooth rocks. Marbles. Seashells. Magnetic rings. Papers in piles so that I don’t forget stuff. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of memory.

Oh well. I live here.

It’s my mess. My strewing. My life. My fidgeting. My needs.

Nobody here is complaining. They get amazing meals because I also strew mega flavors in our food. Peanut chicken from Zaire? Oh yeah. Homemade hummus? You betcha. Vegan cheesecake? Uh huh. Carrot curry soup from Germany? Ja.

So I say strut that strewing stuff, baby.

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

1. I’ve mentioned this before (newsletter #2), but I wanted to offer it again if you’re interested. I’m not so hot on the idea of a traditional book club where you’re told what book to read every month (even if you have a turn to pick every once in a while). I started a Facebook group called Rebel Monthly Media Moment, and we gather once a month on Google Meet to chat about whatever we’re individually reading, watching, listening to, or experiencing. It’s like Show-and-Tell for those for whom book clubs just don’t turn the page for us. Let me know if you’d like to join. It’s bringing me a lot of brain-boosting joy and a lot of great recommendations from others.

2. Someone in my life is experiencing a very painful problem (this is NOT yeehawesome). This person loves pink and purple, and so the yeehawesome part of this is that I go on a hunt every day to try to find those colors and I send this precious person an email with photos of flowers or whatever it is I can find plus a short message of encouragement. The act of the photo hunt reminds me of the person and I remember to pray and send air hugs.

3. Did you know that the actress Daryl Hannah is autistic? Neither did I! She was diagnosed at age 5. I’m happy for her that she could understand her brain better at such an early age. This makes me want to go watch Roxanne again (yeehawesome movie with Steve Martin—you should read the Cyrano de Bergerac play too—so good).

Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

• Neurodivergencies can come with extra sensitivities.

• Strewing for sanity’s sake can look like mess.

• Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

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