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Beany Brain #65: Revisiting the Great Wall of Awful Along with Some Big Talk

Author

Abigail Munday
October 28, 2025

Beany Brain: loving our jumping-bean brains!

Welcome to this issue of the Beany Brain! I hope today’s newsletter will bounce us up as we contemplate the upsides and challenges of being neurodivergent, a little beauty, some creativity, and just general yeehawesomeness.

Table of Contents

Photo by Abigail Munday

Yes, That Wall of Awful

The Great Wall of Awful.

And I don’t mean great as in yeehawesome.

I mean great as in LARGE.

Looming.

If you’re ND (neurodivergent), you’ve probably hit a wall of awful many times.

(I’ve written about the wall of awful before here in Beany Brain #37, but thought it needed revisiting—for me and anyone else who gets stuck. Here are the videos I got the info from: Wall of Awful part 1; Wall of Awful part 2.)

Mine usually involve avoiding confrontation, making certain doctors’ appointments, and currently…

Photo by Abigail Munday

I’m resisting a paper wall of awful.

Shoji.

The paper doors inside our sliding glass doors on the very front of the house, and the ones on the side windows in that same room. It faces the front, there are holes, I’m embarrassed about it, and yet…

I still can’t bring myself to do it…yet.

My mind says:

  1. You’ve never done it before.

  2. You’ll make it look worse than it does now.

  3. You’ll show all the neighbors that you don’t know how to do simple Japanese things.

  4. What if our landlord gets mad.

I bought the supplies. I’ve looked at videos on YouTube. I’ve asked friends who’ve done it before and they tell me it’s easy.

Still.

The supplies sit there still.

I’m “Hulk Smashing inwardly,” as the Wall of Awful part 1 puts it. I’m damaging myself with the negative self-talk.

But by writing this out, I’ve actually taken the next step: I’m doing the emotional work and actually climbing the wall. 

It might not look like it from the outside, but processing the wall is part of climbing the wall.

So, yay me! 

Then, in the Wall of Awful part 2, Brendan Mahan, the originator of the Wall of Awful concept, says that we can avoid adding more and more bricks of emotional pain to our walls by showing compassion toward ourselves.

So if we can approach our challenges from a place of non-judgement, and a place of compassion and forgiveness and empathy, then we can avoid more bricks than we otherwise would. Maybe not all of them, but lots of them.

- Brendan Mahan

If I sit and think about it for a minute…

Repapering shoji is a challenge. I’ve never done it before.

Would I get mad at a friend if she told me she was struggling with this very same wall?

Nope.

Might be time for some body doubling. I do it for writing. I’ve done it with someone who needed focus for packing a suitcase. (Maybe body doubling can be another post for another time.)

I’ll keep you posted.

And I won’t paper over my Wall.

I’ll just repaper the doors.

Ha Ha Haiku

A funny haiku for you every week in every newsletter, whether it’s one of my own or one I curate for you. HA. Ha. Haiku.

Teacher said "Haiku".

I did not know what to do!

So I said "Bless you."

- Brad Bjorndahl on Quora

Photo by Abigail Munday

Big Talk

It must be the opposite of small talk, right?

She says:

My rules were simple: without being rude, I would quickly deflect all questions about wellbeing, weather, transport or children’s academic achievements and offer instead something I found genuinely interesting.

When a barista asked, “How are you enjoying the sun?” I pivoted to, “I like spring, but autumn is my favourite season. What about you?” At a writer’s event, when a woman commented that her kids were out of school, I asked: “What was your favourite subject to study?”

The results were astonishing. Most people weren’t just willing to play along; they seemed relieved. It turned out I wasn’t the only one who felt like small talk was an awkward and forced ritual. Instead of stiff exchanges, conversations became unpredictable and, more importantly, real.

Small talk is something that tires me out—through the years I’ve worked on mimicking and perfecting it through mirroring others, but…

It’s not my favorite.

I want juicy tidbits. Not gossip, but the heavy-metal of the everyday and the big picture of the lifetime. The details, the feelings, the special interests, the successes, the failures, the creativity, the inspiration, the fears, the soul-smiles.

Have you ever tried an experiment like Claire Eastham’s? If so, how did it go?

I’m pretty sure it would freak Japanese people out. It might even freak some Americans and English out too.

But maybe I’ll just talk big and see how it all shakes out.

Photo by Abigail Munday

Yeehawesome!

Yeehawesome! is a happy-brain roundup in each issue of Beany Brain. What’s happening that’s good in brain land? What’s bringing me joy?

  1. It’s been fun to participate in the Onigiri Action campaign this month—for every onigiri (rice ball/triangle) picture you post (and use their hashtags), they will donate school meals for kids who need them.

  2. I took a hiatus in the UK and US from the Midnight Burger podcast, but I’m back listening again and finding that I missed the characters and I’m glad to be back time traveling in the diner with them again.

  3. You have to see this new marriage, you guys: The Mr. Men books have teamed up with Agatha Christie books for a coupling we didn’t know we needed.

  4. The results are in from the “Aisle or Window” survey: 40% of you say aisle and 60% say window. I’m surprised! But somehow I’m not surprised that I’m in the minority. Thanks for responding to those of you who took the survey. You get a gold star! And hopefully the seat positioning of your dreams.

Quote of the Week

“I will not be outfaced by irrational things.”

- Walt Whitman in his poem “By Blue Ontario’s Shore”

Beany Brownie Points and Extra Bonus Funniness

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday was a day once a year in college when they would suddenly and surprisingly call off all classes and we’d play all day. The cafeteria provided special fun food and we’d do stuff outside like slip ‘n slides and jello wrestling in sumo suits. This segment of Beany Brain is dedicated to that memory of silliness and fun—no words, just a photo from the week that I’ve taken or found that reminds me to let the joy in. Since Beany Brain is published on Wednesday every week (at least, Wednesday in Japan), I hope you enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday.

Selfie by moi

Today’s Beany-full Summary:

  • We revisited the Wall of Awful videos. Do you face Walls too?

  • Small talk or big talk? Which do you prefer?

  • Go forth in Beany joy. What will help you feel yeehawesome this week?

Thank you for reading this installment of Beany Brain! You’re very welcome to hop on by any old time.

If you’re enjoying Beany Brain, please share with a friend or seventeen at www.beanybrain.com. Cheers big time!